letting go...

...is such a hard thing to do. You never know truly what is going to happen. I am being told right now that I must truly just let everything go...let go and let God.

I have never been so scared in my life to do something. I just get a giant knot in my stomach anymore though... I can't sleep well. I suppose there is nothing else to do but let it just go. I sound like a broken record to most ppl. I guess in the end I'm just a talker when it comes to processing.major things in my life....

I feel selfish though talking...saying how I feel. It's not about me...but I seem to somehow.make it about me...that's not right. It's not what is.needed right now either... let go and let.God... such an easy thing to say...sub a hard thing to truly do.

It's hard...

...when you lose something that you enjoy. Things may not change all that much but you do miss it.

No one is really reads this I'm sure or really will understand what I'm talking about.... But i miss my friend. I miss my companion. I was asked why I was sad. That's why. I miss the giant smile from ear to ear and looking at that face and knowing that person was truly happy with me. There were no troubles.

I don't want to see this person go through pain. It's not something anyone should have to go through. I miss the easiness...I don't want to lose the love. Thats why I am sad.